Q This year I am a sophomore in high school and am taking every possible advanced class. I am also in a quite a few extracurricular activities (including math and science team, student goverment, honors society, etc.). Since middle school, I have always been on the honor roll, but I didn't make it this semester. I feel so pressured by my parents, yet they tell me they don't expect anything! I know they do! They were so angry with me when I didn't make honor roll. They expect so much from me. My mom and dad are divorced (my dad lives in a different state) and they only thing they can agree on is how I need to try harder! What can I tell them so they don't expect so much? A Your parents are certainly sending you mixed messages if they have told you that they don't expect 'anything' of you academically and then show you anger when you miss honor roll for the first time since middle school. When parents behave like this, it can make a kid feel that the only time she is appreciated by her parents is when she gets high grades. This is the first time that their bright daughter was not an honor roll student. They are overreacting to your grades and have, unfortunately, made you feel horrible through their anger and insistence that you must try harder. They have not thought about the fact that you have challenged yourself academically by taking as many advanced courses as you could schedule. You have also involved yourself considerably in the extracurricular life of your school. You could have chosen to take easier courses and not participate in extracurricular activities, probably guaranteeing yourself better grades in the process. But that's not who you are -- you want to challenge yourself and not take the easy way out. I admire you for that choice and your desire to challenge yourself will always be an enormous asset in every aspect of your life. Zvažte, zda napsat srdečný dopis rodičům, v němž vyjádříte své pocity. Nedělejte z toho obviňující zprávu. Mluvte o tom, jak ve vás jejich nereálná očekávání vyvolávají velký stres a napětí. Řekněte jim, že nechcete, aby vás milovali nebo na vás byli hrdí ne moc Když splníte jejich očekávání. Nejlepší by bylo, kdybyste si s nimi mohli sednout a v klidu probrat své pocity.
Máte plné právo cítit se zraněný a zklamaný emocionálními reakcemi rodičů na vaši knihu. Jsem si jistý, že si myslí, že dělají svou práci, když ti říkají, abys pracoval tvrději. Napište tento dopis vám oběma, abyste požádali o pomoc svého poradce (a jiného důvěryhodného dospělého člena rodiny) a nadále podněcovali vaši vlastní touhu učit se a růst. Pokud chcete, neváhejte mě informovat. Rád bych slyšel, jak to jde.
